Balance by KarolusLinus

President Obama recently sparked an interesting dialogue about empathy when he stated that he would nominate a Supreme Court justice “who understands that justice isn’t about some abstract theory. … It is also about how our laws affect the daily realities of people’s lives,” to replace the outgoing Justice David Souter.  In short, he wants someone with judicial empathy.  This has caused outrage from some and applause from others.  Regardless how you feel about this issue, it is interesting to see so much attention being paid to empathy within the context of the Supreme Court.

Personally, I am a definite believer that empathy has a place in leadership and business in general.  That said, it must be properly balanced with power in order for long-lasting, sustainability to be achieved.  Karl Long wrote a wonderful piece discussing this balance.  Leaders must find a way to appeal to those that they lead and simultaneously command the respect of these individuals.  Some people respect a leader who demonstrates care and concern for them.  Others respect a powerful authority that leads based on a command and control approach.  I have written about a related topic in the past in a piece entitled “Democratic Dictatorship“.  In this piece I made the point that a leader is ultimately responsible to the organization’s best interests, not those of any particular individual.  However, to be clear, this does not imply that a leader cannot show empathy toward individuals within the organization.  On the contrary, it is often in the organization’s best interests to keep the people who work there satisfied.  In fact, loyalty expert Fred Reichheld, has written extensively about customer loyalty and its direct linkage to employee loyalty.  And in these turbulent economic times, nothing can be more important to a business than keeping the customers that they have satisfied; in large part, by keeping the employees they have satisfied.

There’s even real science to back up the power of empathy within a leader and the physiological effects that it can have on others.  In a recent HBR article about social intelligence and neuroscience, the findings demonstrated “that certain things leaders do—specifically, exhibit empathy and become attuned to others’ moods—literally affect both their own brain chemistry and that of their followers.”  For example, in performance feedback settings, it was more the tone and emotional signals given during feedback vs. the actual feedback itself that established the recipient’s attitude and feelings about the feedback.  In essence, the way things were communicated were more important than what specifically was communicated.  In fact, we can all recall seeing this same effect when talking to a baby or even a pet.  If you speak with a particular tone, it is not relevant what specific words you are saying.  In these cases, the words are not even comprehensible to the baby or pet, but the tone of voice is clearly what dictates their response.

What does all of this mean to you as a manager or leader?  Well, if you want to get the best out of your teams, colleagues, subordinates, etc., use an easygoing tone and humor to engage the best neurons your folks have to offer!  In one study, it was found that “top-performing leaders elicited laughter from their subordinates three times as often, on average, as did mid-performing leaders.”  For business, it is true when they say, laughter is the best medicine!

Nina Nets It Out: A good mood can not only make your day better, but also that of the people around you. I guess this science has proven the French proverb “more flies are caught with honey than with vinegar.”  Be sure to balance your own drive, ambition and intelligence with an ability to empathically and socially connect with co-workers, business colleagues, customers, etc.

Too many leaders, along with their communications staff, spend too much time thinking about how to say whatever it is they need to say. And, for sure, I commend those with the gift of gab for whom communicating clearly and with well-chosen words comes easy. I’ve surely written about the tremendously valuable ability to communicate clearly on my blog over the past year and think it is, without a doubt, one of the most critical skills anyone in business [and it really isn't nor should be limited at all to people working in the business world] can possess. However, as important as such communications are, the benefits from them can be completely eroded when the actions don’t support the words. How often have people in our lives, be it in professional or personal circumstances, said one thing and done another? What are we to believe when such things occur?

One way that Isadore Sharp has integrated both communications and actions is in the creation of the “Glitch Report.” Every department at the hotel creates a diary of the previous day’s mistakes and uses this to both inform teams of issues and to ensure that, wherever possible, those mistakes are not replicated. Isadore Sharp explains this approach in this interview with National Geographic’s Intelligent Travel blog:

By keeping close tabs on what’s happening at the hotel every day, the management team has the ability to work closely with staff to continually teach, reinforce and empower them to make great customer service decisions.

This is not to say that there are times when our actions can’t match our words. We can have the greatest intentions to follow up our words with the appropriate actions, only to realize subsequently that we cannot do as we have said. In such times, express the changing circumstances aloud and let others know that you are fully aware that your prior words cannot be supported by current actions. In this way, you can demonstrate the realization that your initial words and actions won’t match, but you can modify the words, provide explanation, if necessary, and get your words and actions re-aligned to one another. People may not like the change, but they cannot disregard the effort to openly communicate and to keep the synchronicity of words and actions required for a trusted relationship intact.

This follows along my philosophy of telling it like it is. I know that this approach won’t please all of the people all of the time; but, it will allow all of the people to know where I stand all of the time. And given the choice of pleasing everyone all of the time [as if this could even happen] or being authentic and having all of the people know that what I say is so, I will always choose being regarded as authentic and honest to my words. And this recalls my belief about leaders in general in regard to the expression: “it is better to be respected and not liked than to be liked and not respected.”

Isadore Sharp understands that actions tell others who we are and what kind of person we are. He spent years evangelizing his laser focus on service and living up to the expression “We are only what we do, not what we say we are.” These words are easy to say but challenging to live up to. It required shifting mindsets, delegating responsibilities, giving up control when necessary, firing people who did not live up to the credo, despite them being competent in various other areas, and other such actions that demonstrated the seriousness with which his company was going to follow this path. Without a doubt, to those who have ever had the good fortune to stay at a Four Seasons hotel, the service ethic has been instilled throughout every level within the company. From the bellmen who greet arriving cars, to chamber maids, to wait staff and desk personnel. The Four Seasons chain of hotels demonstrates the possibilities of a corporate-wide focus on doing the right thing, not just saying the right words.

Today, the Four Seasons Hotel & Resorts “is considered among the finest luxury hotels worldwide, according to Travel + Leisure magazine and Zagat Survey, and operates 78 hotels in 32 countries including 22 AAA Five-Diamond properties.” Now if we can only get business leaders in all sorts of companies, industries and countries to follow the Four Seasons approach!

Nina Nets It Out:Words are just that…they’re words. If we say we are going to do one thing and we do another, of what value are the words we spoke? Clearly, we all want to be considered honest, authentic leaders. To achieve this, we must make certain to maintain synchronicity between what we say and what we do. If you must do something that differs from your words, at least offer an explanation and demonstrate your awareness of the discrepancy. The importance of this cannot be overstated for leaders who wish to be held in high regard and worthy of being considered a leader.

Following my webinar with Jo Miller, there were many questions asked about leadership, virtual teams, work-life balance, and the like. I offered answers to many of these questions and Jo posted them on her website. This exercise made me realize that there are many people who have questions about these topics but who might not have a resource to seek out the answers. As such, I’ve decided to try something new on my website.

If anyone has questions related to business, leadership, management or similar topics, I’d like to offer myself as a resource to provide answers. Of course, it goes without saying that I am just one person with my own opinion. However, I have been working for many years and have held leadership positions in some of the best companies around, especially within the software industry.

This all said, if you have a question and want someone else’s opinion, advice, etc., please feel free to post your questions in the comments section here. I will reply publicly so that all readers have a chance to learn from these exchanges. In fact, perhaps some of these questions will warrant full posts which I will feature on this site.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

I strongly encourage readers to click over and to explore not just the set of questions that arose from the office politics webinar, but to delve further into the Women’s Leadership Coaching site.  The webinar series is an excellent way to hear from various industry professionals on topics that are very relevant to those in the workforce.

And in case you missed my discussion with Jo, you can find it here.

Jo Miller, CEO of Women’s Leadership Coaching, and I will be talking about “Winning at the Game of Office Politics” on Tuesday, February 24 2009, 11:00am-12:00pm PST

Some topics we’ll be addressing include:

• Is it possible to navigate office politics without becoming a political animal?
• Learn the difference between office politics and organizational awareness.
• Discover the unwritten “rules of the game” at work.
• Understand the dynamics of power and influence in your organization.

Get a copy of the presentation and listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Recently, I had an opportunity to talk with Brian Roger of Social Media Today and its sister site MyVenturePad.com.  Brian writes for these online, B2B social communities on topics that help companies use social media to connect with and build deep relationships with customers and prospects.  Brian and I had a great discussion about leadership which can be heard on MyVenturePad by clicking here.  In addition, I was fortunate enough to be named "Blogger of the Week" on Social Media Today and that article can be viewed here.

Many thanks to Brian and the others at these two sites for showcasing for all of us some of the great ways that social media can be used to foster dialogue, build awareness and relationships and ultimately drive business.

Nina Nets It Out: Be sure to learn about social media tools and the capabilities they can afford you in connecting with customers, partners, employees and the like. As I’ve always said, communication is crucial in business and these technologies empower all of us to be able to communicate in more ways and hopefully more effectively!

Nina Nets It Out: As a recipient of The Stevie Award, I wholeheartedly encourage other women to participate in this organization and to do all that they can to help other women in business, and men too, to achieve all that they desire.

So what can we do to honor ourselves and those we lead? Some suggest that the key to sound leadership lies in providing gateways to success, ongoing opportunities to advance and excel. Steve Farber, best-selling author of The Radical Leap and The Radical Edge, writes, “Your own greatness as a leader… lies, paradoxically, in your ability to cause others to be greater than yourself.”

What are you doing to empower your teams? How do you demonstrate faith and drive inspiration? These are questions you can and should ask. Your management style will often dictate what your teams deliver, as well as the extent and spirit with which they push forward. Are you providing the tools they need to make the most of their efforts? Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks, thinks you should expect more than others think possible. What is your philosophy?

Brent Filson, author of more than twenty books on business and leadership, believes there are three key factors to leadership motivation and its daily application:

• Motivation is physical action. Follow up leadership discussions with specific physical action, whether a handshake, personal visit or interactive e-mail exchange.
• Motivation is driven by emotion. When you want to move people to take action, engage them personally and ensure emotional commitment.
• Motivation is not what we do to others. It is what others do to themselves. The bottom line is that while leaders communicate, people ultimately self-motivate. Your job is to create an environment which fosters development and results beyond the expectations of yourself or your teams.

We embrace the spirit of Labor Day as we celebrate our teams and inspire them to achieve, advance and excel.

Nina Nets it Out: “The real leader has no need to lead – he is content to point the way.” — Henry Miller. Provide an environment in which your teams can grow and thrive, and the motivated will deliver.

Now, of course, there are some great blogs and articles that provide leadership advice. One which was recently voted as the best leadership blog is Steve Roesler’s All Things Workplace. Take a look through the archives on Steve’s blog and read through some of his posts and you will soon realize he not only brings a depth of understanding to his thinking around leadership, he also provides practical tips for how you can begin applying this to your own approach to leadership.

In this article, Steve discusses how you can boost the impact of your communication by thinking in threes — facts, emotions and symbols. It is a great read. But what he explains so well is the importance of the power of leadership stories to humanize the leader and to engage your teams. Remember, especially if you work in a large organization, many of the people you come in contact with will only know you by your announcements, “communications” or presentations (or worse, because of the box with your name in the org chart). One of the most important aspects of learning to lead is to bring a sense of authenticity to your dealings with people across your company. As Steve explains:

The word Authenticity is used frequently as a trait to be desired and valued. But you can’t possibly connect authentically without acknowledging how you feel about the situation you are describing. If you stick to the numbers or the steps in your plan, you aren’t connecting.

Perhaps a good example of this in action is background-foreground communication — where you share something that has been pre-occupying your thinking. But no matter how you decide to activate a factual, emotional and symbolic relationship with your teams, one thing is clear — the aim is to create a leadership story in which you can allow your colleagues to play a role. This perhaps, is the hardest lesson of all!

Nina Nets It Out: No matter where you are in your career, we can always learn more about the art of leadership, and Steve Roesler’s All Things Workplace blog is an excellent resource for all leaders.

Increasingly, I am beginning to see “group” websites starting to bring together like-minded authors around a topic. Slow Leadership is one such site which I have just added to my reading list. Slow Leadership aims:

… to provide interesting and challenging articles to help you think through the issues and find ways to enjoy your life and work to the full. This is a blog about ideas, not quick tips.

I am pleased to let you know that I will, from time to time, be contributing articles to the Leadership section of the Slow Leadership site.

In other news, I have also been asked to contribute to the Leadership & People section of the UK-based ChangeBoard.com.

Both of these sites have some excellent leadership writers onboard. Do yourself a favor and spend some time there. After all, leaders never stop learning!

Nina Nets It Out: I am often asked for reading recommendations. One of the best sources of current leadership thinking and learning is right at your fingertips — check the list of the blogs available here on my blog, and then follow through to the blogs that these writers recommend.