Balance by KarolusLinus

President Obama recently sparked an interesting dialogue about empathy when he stated that he would nominate a Supreme Court justice “who understands that justice isn’t about some abstract theory. … It is also about how our laws affect the daily realities of people’s lives,” to replace the outgoing Justice David Souter.  In short, he wants someone with judicial empathy.  This has caused outrage from some and applause from others.  Regardless how you feel about this issue, it is interesting to see so much attention being paid to empathy within the context of the Supreme Court.

Personally, I am a definite believer that empathy has a place in leadership and business in general.  That said, it must be properly balanced with power in order for long-lasting, sustainability to be achieved.  Karl Long wrote a wonderful piece discussing this balance.  Leaders must find a way to appeal to those that they lead and simultaneously command the respect of these individuals.  Some people respect a leader who demonstrates care and concern for them.  Others respect a powerful authority that leads based on a command and control approach.  I have written about a related topic in the past in a piece entitled “Democratic Dictatorship“.  In this piece I made the point that a leader is ultimately responsible to the organization’s best interests, not those of any particular individual.  However, to be clear, this does not imply that a leader cannot show empathy toward individuals within the organization.  On the contrary, it is often in the organization’s best interests to keep the people who work there satisfied.  In fact, loyalty expert Fred Reichheld, has written extensively about customer loyalty and its direct linkage to employee loyalty.  And in these turbulent economic times, nothing can be more important to a business than keeping the customers that they have satisfied; in large part, by keeping the employees they have satisfied.

There’s even real science to back up the power of empathy within a leader and the physiological effects that it can have on others.  In a recent HBR article about social intelligence and neuroscience, the findings demonstrated “that certain things leaders do—specifically, exhibit empathy and become attuned to others’ moods—literally affect both their own brain chemistry and that of their followers.”  For example, in performance feedback settings, it was more the tone and emotional signals given during feedback vs. the actual feedback itself that established the recipient’s attitude and feelings about the feedback.  In essence, the way things were communicated were more important than what specifically was communicated.  In fact, we can all recall seeing this same effect when talking to a baby or even a pet.  If you speak with a particular tone, it is not relevant what specific words you are saying.  In these cases, the words are not even comprehensible to the baby or pet, but the tone of voice is clearly what dictates their response.

What does all of this mean to you as a manager or leader?  Well, if you want to get the best out of your teams, colleagues, subordinates, etc., use an easygoing tone and humor to engage the best neurons your folks have to offer!  In one study, it was found that “top-performing leaders elicited laughter from their subordinates three times as often, on average, as did mid-performing leaders.”  For business, it is true when they say, laughter is the best medicine!

Nina Nets It Out: A good mood can not only make your day better, but also that of the people around you. I guess this science has proven the French proverb “more flies are caught with honey than with vinegar.”  Be sure to balance your own drive, ambition and intelligence with an ability to empathically and socially connect with co-workers, business colleagues, customers, etc.

Too many leaders, along with their communications staff, spend too much time thinking about how to say whatever it is they need to say. And, for sure, I commend those with the gift of gab for whom communicating clearly and with well-chosen words comes easy. I’ve surely written about the tremendously valuable ability to communicate clearly on my blog over the past year and think it is, without a doubt, one of the most critical skills anyone in business [and it really isn't nor should be limited at all to people working in the business world] can possess. However, as important as such communications are, the benefits from them can be completely eroded when the actions don’t support the words. How often have people in our lives, be it in professional or personal circumstances, said one thing and done another? What are we to believe when such things occur?

One way that Isadore Sharp has integrated both communications and actions is in the creation of the “Glitch Report.” Every department at the hotel creates a diary of the previous day’s mistakes and uses this to both inform teams of issues and to ensure that, wherever possible, those mistakes are not replicated. Isadore Sharp explains this approach in this interview with National Geographic’s Intelligent Travel blog:

By keeping close tabs on what’s happening at the hotel every day, the management team has the ability to work closely with staff to continually teach, reinforce and empower them to make great customer service decisions.

This is not to say that there are times when our actions can’t match our words. We can have the greatest intentions to follow up our words with the appropriate actions, only to realize subsequently that we cannot do as we have said. In such times, express the changing circumstances aloud and let others know that you are fully aware that your prior words cannot be supported by current actions. In this way, you can demonstrate the realization that your initial words and actions won’t match, but you can modify the words, provide explanation, if necessary, and get your words and actions re-aligned to one another. People may not like the change, but they cannot disregard the effort to openly communicate and to keep the synchronicity of words and actions required for a trusted relationship intact.

This follows along my philosophy of telling it like it is. I know that this approach won’t please all of the people all of the time; but, it will allow all of the people to know where I stand all of the time. And given the choice of pleasing everyone all of the time [as if this could even happen] or being authentic and having all of the people know that what I say is so, I will always choose being regarded as authentic and honest to my words. And this recalls my belief about leaders in general in regard to the expression: “it is better to be respected and not liked than to be liked and not respected.”

Isadore Sharp understands that actions tell others who we are and what kind of person we are. He spent years evangelizing his laser focus on service and living up to the expression “We are only what we do, not what we say we are.” These words are easy to say but challenging to live up to. It required shifting mindsets, delegating responsibilities, giving up control when necessary, firing people who did not live up to the credo, despite them being competent in various other areas, and other such actions that demonstrated the seriousness with which his company was going to follow this path. Without a doubt, to those who have ever had the good fortune to stay at a Four Seasons hotel, the service ethic has been instilled throughout every level within the company. From the bellmen who greet arriving cars, to chamber maids, to wait staff and desk personnel. The Four Seasons chain of hotels demonstrates the possibilities of a corporate-wide focus on doing the right thing, not just saying the right words.

Today, the Four Seasons Hotel & Resorts “is considered among the finest luxury hotels worldwide, according to Travel + Leisure magazine and Zagat Survey, and operates 78 hotels in 32 countries including 22 AAA Five-Diamond properties.” Now if we can only get business leaders in all sorts of companies, industries and countries to follow the Four Seasons approach!

Nina Nets It Out:Words are just that…they’re words. If we say we are going to do one thing and we do another, of what value are the words we spoke? Clearly, we all want to be considered honest, authentic leaders. To achieve this, we must make certain to maintain synchronicity between what we say and what we do. If you must do something that differs from your words, at least offer an explanation and demonstrate your awareness of the discrepancy. The importance of this cannot be overstated for leaders who wish to be held in high regard and worthy of being considered a leader.

Well, the idea of paying it forward is really a good one. In fact, Benjamin Franklin demonstrated the idea of paying it forward in a letter to Benjamin Webb dated April 22, 1784:

“I do not pretend to give such a Sum; I only lend it to you. When you [...] meet with another honest Man in similar Distress, you must pay me by lending this Sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the Debt by a like operation, when he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. I hope it may thus go thro’ many hands, before it meets with a Knave that will stop its Progress. This is a trick of mine for doing a deal of good with a little money.”

In business, there are SO many ways in which this concept can take hold. But to me, the greatest impact of this wonderful approach to helping can be done at the grassroots, or individual, level. I myself have experienced both sides of paying it forward. I have had the great fortune of being helped by many people along my career path. And to be clear, these folks did not do so with the expectation that they would receive anything in return; but rather for the sake of helping me out at a time when I was in need of assistance. I have had a few great mentors who took me under their wings and guided me through then-uncharted paths within my career. I am humbled by the unselfish nature in which this help was given and greatly benefited from it. It is, in large part, the reason I am where I am in my career.

So, in the spirit of paying it forward, I now offer assistance to others whenever I can so that they too can benefit from outside perspectives and guidance. I participate on the board of a non-profit [Reading Partners], I mentor colleagues both within and outside my company whenever I am able to, and I encourage those in my village to do the same. There are a couple of great commercials from Liberty Mutual insurance company that totally inspired me to write this entry and to shine a light on the notion of paying it forward. These commercials show how one person witnessing someone helping someone else, can find that helpfulness within themselves to pay it forward.

If each person who reads this blog entry, thinks about one person they can help with the explicit ‘rule’ that that person must repay the favor by helping someone else, imagine how quickly this valuable concept can generate massive good. Think about it, mathematically it doesn’t take long for things to grow incredibly fast as shown in this great piece by Alan Yu called “A Penny Doubled Everyday“. Starting with just one penny on day 1 and doubling the number each day, in just thirty days, you’d have over $10 million dollars…$10,737,418.23 to be exact.

As leaders, we must be sure to foster a culture in which people understand the value of helping one another. I try to do this as often as I can and those who work with and around me, are always welcomed to ask for assistance or the time to assist others. We all have times in our lives where we need(ed) help. The greatest thing we can do with what we have learned is to share this knowledge with others in our networks so that they too can benefit. It’s like, as Wally Bock asks, “what do you want to be remembered for?”.

Nina Nets It Out: Be sure to take every opportunity to help others and to ask them to do the same for people within their network. If we can create an atmosphere in which this type of behavior is commonplace, recognized and encouraged, the limits we have are boundless. And in these difficult times, helping others will be appreciated tremendously by all involved.

First up, polish your communication skills. When you work in a matrix, you need to be clear about your work, your direction and your deliverables. Different teams have their own internal cultures – and if you are new to that team or working across a division, you likely will miss the non-verbal communication at play. To combat this, over communicate – ask questions if you are unclear. Clarify the expectations of colleagues and learn to articulate your thoughts precisely. If you need to, take a course; but don’t overlook the importance of this communication.

Secondly, remember there are only 24 hours in a day. When you work in a matrix, you are likely to have multiple deliverables from multiple teams. That means you must manage expectations of all involved. When asked to take on a new project, politely explain your level of utilization and then ask your project leader to help you prioritize your efforts. Make sure that this is clearly communicated to the people you report to, along with the expected impacts. Be sure to avoid over-committing and under delivering.

These two steps can make a dramatic difference to your life. But what about leaders? How can you lead well in the matrix? Gill Corkindale suggests the following steps for leaders:

• Make sure the culture is robust, supportive and you have the right values and behaviors in place
• Ensure that you are a skilled communicator: networking, influencing, coaching and facilitating skills are paramount
• Draw up clear goals, objectives, and performance metrics for managers and staff and see to it that they are aligned vertically and horizontally
• Empower teams to make decisions and to resolve conflicts at an appropriate level
• Don’t tinker with the structure, but let the networks and matrix evolve over time
• Use your expertise and personal network to influence those over whom you have no formal authority

To this list I would add:

• Foster village thinking – create opportunities for your matrix team members to collaborate on both personal and professional levels
• Achieve with grace – when you are a leader in a matrix organization, many disparate teams will contribute to your success. Make sure that your success is achieved (and acknowledged) with grace.

Nina Nets It Out: Matrix organizations can deliver astounding results, but attributing these results to a particular line of business can often be difficult or fraught with political danger. Leaders must ensure that they continue to emphasize communication, team work and responsibility across their matrixed teams and share the spoils of success as they arrive.

I strongly encourage readers to click over and to explore not just the set of questions that arose from the office politics webinar, but to delve further into the Women’s Leadership Coaching site.  The webinar series is an excellent way to hear from various industry professionals on topics that are very relevant to those in the workforce.

And in case you missed my discussion with Jo, you can find it here.

Jo Miller, CEO of Women’s Leadership Coaching, and I will be talking about “Winning at the Game of Office Politics” on Tuesday, February 24 2009, 11:00am-12:00pm PST

Some topics we’ll be addressing include:

• Is it possible to navigate office politics without becoming a political animal?
• Learn the difference between office politics and organizational awareness.
• Discover the unwritten “rules of the game” at work.
• Understand the dynamics of power and influence in your organization.

Get a copy of the presentation and listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Recently, I had an opportunity to talk with Brian Roger of Social Media Today and its sister site MyVenturePad.com.  Brian writes for these online, B2B social communities on topics that help companies use social media to connect with and build deep relationships with customers and prospects.  Brian and I had a great discussion about leadership which can be heard on MyVenturePad by clicking here.  In addition, I was fortunate enough to be named "Blogger of the Week" on Social Media Today and that article can be viewed here.

Many thanks to Brian and the others at these two sites for showcasing for all of us some of the great ways that social media can be used to foster dialogue, build awareness and relationships and ultimately drive business.

Nina Nets It Out: Be sure to learn about social media tools and the capabilities they can afford you in connecting with customers, partners, employees and the like. As I’ve always said, communication is crucial in business and these technologies empower all of us to be able to communicate in more ways and hopefully more effectively!

“We’re gonna be in the Hudson,” he says to controllers. He never wasted words, but he told people exactly what would happen. “Brace for impact,” he told the passengers, a signal that also prepared the flight crew to fall back on their training, remain calm, and get passengers safely off the plane.

What’s also worth noting is that in today’s world, communication can take place in so many different ways and from nearly anywhere on the planet. No longer are we constrained by geography. Proximity has been redefined by technological innovations. And timing is no longer an issue either. Often times I have heard colleagues say they haven’t had a chance to reach out or are simply “too busy to communicate.” It’s hard to imagine any one of us, despite how very busy we all are, not being able to find the mere moments it takes to communicate to those that want to hear from us. Imagine going to a doctor for a biopsy and not hearing back from them because they are “too busy” to let you know the results. Where do you think your imagination would go after just a couple of days of not hearing back about the results of your test? All it takes is a brief, to the point communication.

Hand write a letter recently? Yeah right. Oh, and just forget email, that’s passe. What about cell phones? Come on now, or should I say “can you hear me now?” Well, they’re alright for text messaging. Sure keeps the communications pithy. Instant messaging is nice, if you have all those you want to communicate to on your buddy list (and they’re online). You could always distribute your message via Facebook or MySpace, assuming you don’t mind the public nature of it. Oh, and let’s not forget about Twitter. In just a mere 140 characters, we can communicate a great amount. You’d be surprised. And to an enormous number of people … simultaneously.

Nina Nets It Out: There are plenty of ways to get the word out – whether it means picking up the phone, writing an email, a text message or using online technology. But, regardless of your communication weapon of choice, be sure to communicate. For, as they say, enquiring minds want to know.

First and foremost, a leader is someone who truly understands how to communicate clearly, and who understands that communication is a two-sided activity – it requires both a speaker and a listener. To be an effective communicator, it is necessary to master the skills required on both sides.

Think about it from your own experiences. Don’t you have memories of certain people, be it a parent, teacher, co-worker, boss, friend, politician, etc. who has left a permanent and positive impression upon you? Can you think of the best communicators you know? Are they leaders in their own realms? Don’t ever underestimate the power of communication to inspire, move and affect us. In fact, even crazy ideas can be made to sound not-so-crazy if communicated by a talented, capable speaker.

Furthermore, and very much related to this, a leader must always speak openly and honestly. There is simply no way to command respect and authority if people don’t believe what you say. Leaders have a job to do – to lead a group toward a common goal. How can this be accomplished if the members of the group don’t trust in the words of the leader?

Now, understand what it means to be open and honest – sometimes leaders have to say things that are unpleasant. But when given a choice between saying something to create a change in someone’s performance or behavior or not saying something and hoping for change, there is really no clearer answer – a leader must “tell it like it is“.

Another quality of great leaders is their ability to get things done – and to do this, you need practical experience. Like moths to a light, great leaders attract great people, and great teams accomplish great things. I like to use the term village to describe family members, friends, colleagues and co-workers who provide a breadth of input and insight to all that we do. Leaders know that they must leverage their village in order to achieve great results. No one can do everything themselves. However, those that can attract and retain top talent around them are destined for greatness. As I like to say, hire smart and get out of the way.

Lastly, great leaders understand that with clear, honest communication and a village of folks to tackle the tasks at hand, the main inspiration they must provide is a compelling vision of the desired goal. Then manage the outcome, not the process. Managing to outcomes empowers the village to accomplish the task in the best way they see. It allows your team to lead from the middle. By not micro-managing the process, leaders can instill faith and confidence in the team to meet their responsibilities. It also allows a leader to focus and to responsibly manage their own numerous competing priorities.

While surely there are countless characteristics that differentiate a leader from a great leader, those that I discuss here are vital traits that anyone who aspires to be a strong, accomplished leader must embody. And since I mention that there are many unstated characteristics, a great leader will never become complacent in their skill sets; but rather, they will engage in continuous learning.

Nina Nets It Out: We all aspire to be the best we can be. For me, achieving greatness as a leader, like learning itself, is a process not an event. I continue to seek out ways to better myself as both a leader and as a person. I talk to those around me to gain the benefit of their insights and knowledge. With this goal in mind, please let me know what traits you consider great about leaders you’re familiar with.

Wally points out that no-one sets out to be a “toxic boss”, and that this situation arises under three situations:

• Your supervisor may not know how to do the job that you want them to
• Your supervisor may not have the resources needed
• Some supervisors can’t or won’t learn how to perform well in their job

As a business leader, you can certainly assist in the first two scenarios. You can provide training and support for your management team. But it is the third situation that requires decisive action. If the behavior and actions of your supervisors is impacting the performance of their teams or their health, then you have no choice but to replace them.

However, as Erika Andersen points out, our organizations operate like tribes. We can’t simply cut out and replace our employees with a carbon copy:

An organization is a tribe, or series of interconnected tribes, and a tribe is a system. The members of that system are interdependent.  It’s necessary, in an organization, to remove and add people, but if you do it cog-fashion, it will impact the whole system in ways both invisible (confusion, fear, hesitation, sadness, disorientation, anger) and visible (less creativity, fewer reasonable risks taken, lowered productivity, increased turnover, subtle and overt sabotage).

The challenge for us, as leaders, is to make the decision, take action, and then support our teams during the transition. Communicating clearly, sharing knowledge and investing in the success of the remaining team is paramount – good “people skills” are essential. As Peter Vajda points out in Twenty Indictaors of Failing at Leadership, “No memo, policy or system will ever make up for leaders, managers and supervisors who are deficient in people skills.” If you don’t want the sickness to spread, start communicating.

Nina Nets It Out: While poor supervisors can impact our organization, so can our decisions to replace them. Understanding the interconnectedness of our people, the systems and processes can help ensure any transition happens with minimal impact.